Love Is…-(1/5)

Love is…

Many think that ‘love’ is a feeling.  When one says he ‘falls in love’ and finds his heart beating in an electrify state he thinks that is what ‘love’ means.  If that is what ‘love’ is, then what happens in a couple years when the flittering diminishes? 

When they no longer have this excited infatuation, some think they are no longer in love.  Some seek after that type of love and when it is gone, they go looking again.  It is termed “falling in love” and thus there are people that just like to be ‘falling-in-love’ over and over again.  However, that is not the kind of ‘love’ that maintains a marriage.  What does the Bible say ‘love’ is?

Questions to ask could be:  What ‘love’ is needed to maintain a marriage?  How is it obtained?  Where is it found?  What does it look like?  Why is it needed?  

Using the Bible as a source of wisdom for mankind one can learn how God describes love.  He places a lot on it.  In fact he states that the whole of man’s salvation is based on love. 

Mark 12:30,31 –  ³⁰ And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ ³¹ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

John 16:27(ESV)  for the Father himself loves you, because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God.

Biblical love, however, is not primarily a feeling.

Is “Love” and noun or a verb?            Noun =  …of a specific person, place or thing

                                                            Verb = a word used to show that an action is taking place…

1 Corinthians 13:1–7(ESV) – The Way of Love  –  13 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

v.1-3  –  Showing that LOVE is necessary – the base – a requirement.

The one Greek word for LOVE (agape) is used in all places in verses 1-3…

The Louw Nida   (LN 25.43) definition is:

25.43ἀγαπάω^a; ἀγάπη^a,ης f: to have love for someone or something, based on sincere appreciation and high regard—‘to love, to regard with affection, loving concern, love.’ἀγαπάω^a: ἐντολὴν καινὴν δίδωμι ὑμῖν,ἵνα ἀγαπᾶτε ἀλλήλους‘I give you a new commandment, that you love one another’ Jn 13:34; γὰρ τὸν ἕνα μισήσει καὶ τὸν ἕτερον ἀγαπήσει ‘for he will hate the one and love the other’ Lk 16:13; ὁ πατὴρ ἀγαπᾷ τὸν υἱόν ‘the Father loves the Son’ Jn 3:35; ὅτι αὐτὸς πρῶτος ἠγάπησεν ἡμᾶς ‘for he loved us first’ 1 Jn 4:19.

ἀγάπη^a: ἡ ἀγάπη οὐδέποτε πίπτει ‘love does not fail’ 1 Cor 13:8; ἡ ἀγάπη τῷ πλησίον κακὸν οὐκ ἐργάζεται ‘a person who loves doesn’t do evil to his neighbor’ Ro 13:10.  Etc.

1 Corinthians 13:4–7(ESV)  –  4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Breaking down this passage into its component parts of speech would look like this:

“Love is patient.” “Is patient” in the original Greek New Testament is one participle, and thus, verbal in nature. “Love is kind”—“is kind” is likewise a participle.

“Love is not jealous” is a verb. And so it is for all the rest:

God defines ‘love’ as a verb (action) because it is something you do, not feel.  It is movement, not a fleeting emotion.

The command:   Ephesians 5:25 (ESV)  Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

The measure of our love for our wife is that of how Christ loved the church.  Do we love our wife more than that?  I would think we couldn’t arrive at that level.  Yet, that is the level we are to strive for.

Ephesians 5:2 (ESV)  And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Galatians 2:20 (ESV)  I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. 

John 3:16 (ESV)  “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

If love is giving, how could a person give away all his possessions to feed the poor and then make the ultimate sacrifice and give up his life—and yet still not have love?”

Good question! A lot of people give—even sinners give to sinners (cf. Matt. 5:44–47). What’s missing from the “love is giving” definition is your motive.

The Point:  Love is giving without having some temporal reward as the primary motive.

A working definition of love is:   Love is giving others what they need without having some temporal reward as the primary motive.

Love in the context of marriage is giving to your wife that which the Bible says she needs without having some temporal reward as your primary motive.

Note principle in:  John 21:17 – He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.

“Feed my sheep”   This is an action for one that Love’s Christ.  One does an activity, an action, a demonstration of one’s love.  We need to put ‘Love in action’ toward our spouse.  What does that look like?  Think of ways to demonstrate love and support.  Not being quick to be critical, but to be understanding.  Ready to listen and respond with an appropriate answer. 

A couple scripture texts that help us to appreciate that “love” is a decision followed with appropriate action.

Colossians 3:19 (ESV)  –  Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

1 Timothy 1:5 (ESV)  –  The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.

THUS:  Love is a ‘decision’ – it is not emotive driven.  We have decided that we love our spouse and can list the reasons.  (It might be a good idea to take a paper and write down the things that endear us to our spouse.  Recall the things that attracted you to her.  Looks may be an important initial seeing of the person, but not the key driving force to stay with that person.  One has fun with their spouse; they enjoying doing things together, their lives are converging to mutual love and respect. )