Marriage is…Solomon (2/4)

Marriage is… Song of Solomon

The Song of Solomon: A Look at God-Designed Marriage

While authority and submission is to exist in the home, our relationships should be bathed in love so that they melt together with mutual love and respect. This is illustrated in the Song of Solomon, where we will see a beautiful picture of a right marriage relationship. It is a beautiful example of how leadership is to work.

1.   The perspective

In 2:3–15, the Shulamite woman acknowledges her husband as the head of the home. She saw him as her protector (v. 3), her provider (v. 4), her sustainer (v. 5), her security (v. 6), and her leader and initiator (vv. 10–15). There is no oppression or dictatorial spirit in this passage. She desired his leadership, and he took the role that God had given him. Now, even though authority and submission are present, verse 10 describes a beautiful mutuality: “My beloved is mine, and I am his” (cf. 7:10).

2.   The portrait

In 5:10–16, we see a marvelous portrait of the Shulamite woman’s husband through her eyes of love. She saw him as handsome (v. 10) and bronzed (v. 11), with soft, tender, misty eyes (v. 12). There was color in his cheeks (v. 13), his lips were fragrant (v. 13), his hands were bronzed (v. 14), and his stomach and legs were muscular and strong (vv. 14–15). She saw him as a strong, handsome, rugged character. In verse 16, when he opens his mouth, he isn’t crass or rude. Then at the end of verse 16 she says, “This is my beloved, and this is my friend.” She didn’t see him as a dictator; she saw him as a beloved friend. The mutuality and the spirit of love fits beautifully with authority and submission when love bathes the relationship.

3.   The problem

Now you may say, “If my husband or wife was like that, we’d never have a problem.” But in chapter 5, we find that this couple did have a problem—the wife would not submit to her husband. In verse 1 the husband comes home late at night, after his wife is already in bed. He was full of love for her, and he knocked on the door, asking that she let him in (v. 2). Her response to him, however, was basically, “Don’t bother me now; I’m asleep. I’m not interested” (v. 3). But when she heard his hand on the door, love welled up in her heart, and she felt sorry for her lack of submissiveness (v. 4). So, she got up, put her robe on, and opened the door (v. 5). Unfortunately, it was too late—he had already gone (v. 6).

Note that he was submissive to her, in that he didn’t force himself on her. She panicked and ran all over the city trying to find him (vv. 6–9; 6:1). Finally, she decided he was in the garden (v. 2) and found him there (v. 4). When she found him, he didn’t say, “Where have you been? Why didn’t you let me in?” Instead, he said some of the same things he had said to her on their wedding night (vv. 5–7; cf. 4:1–3). In confirming his love for her, he told her that even though she had rejected him, he still loved her as much as he did the night he married her. The problem was solved, and they had a wonderful time renewing their relationship (chap. 7).

The above is an excerpt taken from:  MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1981). The Fulfilled Family.

Reflection:  Isn’t #2 a description of the dream we carry about self in our youth?  It is only in front of the mirror that there is a slap of reality.  Yet, the mental image can be one that comes to volition in the New World.