Anger – When Sin or When Not

Anger – when is it ‘sin’ and when is it not?

 (This was covered in our Wednesday night studies in 2012 – review that textbook.)  

Jesus was angry at this behavior of the Pharisees at the Synagogue:

A Man with a Withered Hand

Mark 3:3 Again he entered the synagogue, and a man was there with a withered hand. 2 And they watched Jesus, to see whether he would heal him on the Sabbath, so that they might accuse him. 3 And he said to the man with the withered hand, “Come here.” 4 And he said to them, “Is it lawful on the Sabbath to do good or to do harm, to save life or to kill?” But they were silent. 5 And he looked around at them with anger , grieved at their hardness of heart, and said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out, and his hand was restored. 6 The Pharisees went out and immediately held counsel with the Herodians against him, how to destroy him.

Note: Ephesians 4:26–27 (ESV) – 26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil. Also found in Psalm 4:4 (ESV) – 4 Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent. Selah

Anger is sin when it is self-defensive and self-serving. It is sin when it is done with a ‘resentful’ purpose against someone or even self. It is sin when anger is ‘selfish. It is sin when one’s anger is undisciplined. Thus, we will commit sin when we allow our anger to be vindictive.

In Matthew – it shows that anger is what leads to ‘murder’ and thus God’s Judgment.

Matthew 5:21–22 (ESV) – 21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.

Question: can anger be OK? God gives permission and could say anger is commanded when it is ‘unselfish’ and is based on love for God and coupled with concern for others. Genuine love for God or another cannot be helped but be angered with injures are done toward those we love. In our in perfect state we may frequently justify our anger by labeling it “righteous judgment”. Caution would remind us that frequently that is not the case. We could have hearts filled with deception.

Caution because even an anger that starts as ‘righteous anger’ can become bitter, resentful, and self-righteous as we are so imperfect with various emotions running through us. We sometimes get angry at someone based on our own emotional situation, own past hurts and an unwarranted justification.

How might we help ourselves? We want to make sure that our anger can be called; ‘justified’ anger. To start with we could seek out counsel and advice by someone (two or three would be better) we can have confidence that they will not just support us, but they would be objective and tell us when we’re really without justification for our anger. In telling them we want to state the whole story that is not leaving out details that would mislead the listener. The purpose in telling the story is for them to evaluate if anger is justified. They can advise us that we’ve missed the realization of something for to them it doesn’t seem justified. Frequently we become angry with someone out of our past and experiences of life. Our emotional tank is different than anyone else. We have been injured in the past and transfer that to a present situation that really isn’t fitting for this situation.

A quote from the “Life Application Commentary” –

Thus we reserve our anger for when we see God being dishonored or people are wronged. If anger occurs it needs to happen without sinning. Frequently we get angry and then ‘loose our head’ so to speak and commit sin by saying something that hurts another or dishonors us. When angry we need to follow Deuteronomy 24:13 (ESV) – 13 You shall restore to him the pledge as the sun sets, that he may sleep in his cloak and bless you. And it shall be righteousness for you before the LORD your God ., – Deuteronomy 24:15 (ESV) 15 You shall give him his wages on the same day, before the sun sets (for he is poor and counts on it), lest he cry against you to the LORD, and you be guilty of sin.

Why should we act to make things right so quickly between another? The main objective here is that we do not want to allow our anger to ‘smolder’ to ‘burn’ over time as it than frequently bursts into flame. While we are ‘smoldering’ we leave ourselves open to the devil (James 4:7) as he uses our anger to sin and cause disunity among the flock. [James 4:7 (ESV) – 7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ]

Think of the disruption that can be caused in one’s own home over smoldering anger. When we “stuff it” it is taking our anger and stuffing it in a canister within self that will explode sometime. When it blows it is frequently over some minor thing, but in reality it is from a past occurrences that have been ‘stuffed in our canisters”, the anger holding tank within self. An explosion occurs and now real hurt and a division occurs in our home. We have not really resolved any issue because we are off and running on another track. Meaning the real issue is lost and thus since it is unresolved can very well reappear again. It would be best to sit down and discuss why we got angry when the offense occurred.

We need to remember that ‘anger’ is generally a secondary emotion. The starting emotion is frequently a ‘hurt’ that we registered without self. Let’s take an example: Say our spouse belittles us in front of friends. We don’t say anything at the time because we’re with people. But we get ‘hurt’ over the unkind or thoughtless remark. The sad thing is that frequently the spouse does not know they have done it, they weren’t thinking or aware of a sensitive spot we have in that area.

What is the issued we are reacting too? Shall we say it concerns that we’re 20 pounds overweight and even if that isn’t a great amount our view of ‘self’ is greatly affected by it. (Another words “we are bothered by it and secretly have a conflict within ourselves over it.) Thus, when some joke is made like: “my-oh-my did my sweet heart eat last night!” – That statement sounded innocent; however, because our spouse is in a touchy condition about the weight they were hurt that their spouse is making fun of it.

That evening when together the spouse should have, in fact needed to, discuss the situation they were feeling about self. They should have told their spouse that it really hurt to hear such comment about really eating a lot last night because they are having a personally hard time dealing with their additional twenty pounds. The “hurt” needed to be discussed. Let the spouse understand one’s touchy condition on that subject. The spouse now has a chance to express their regrets for the remark and understand why not to make such despairing weight remarks for now.

HOWEVER, what if the spouse that is hurt doesn’t discuss it? Then it generally turns to ‘anger’ as that is the result of unresolved ‘hurt’.

KEY, try and remember to discuss with our spouse what actually hurt our feelings. Don’t stuff the hurt in our canister (gunny sack). Don’t let the sun set with unresolved issued between you. Don’t let that unresolved issue turn from hurt into ‘anger’. When it gets to the anger state, one frequently lashes out and often over some minor issue unrelated to the situation as a result of being angry at one’s spouse.

By these examples we can see that Satan will frequently use our anger against one another to destroy our unity, our home and our love. Therefore, it is better to deal with situations immediately. Lovingly speak the truth for it can solve problems.

lw